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1. Figure out what you want. We believe we know exactly what we want, but the majority of us have no clue about what we want. It all starts with you. Many of my clients get so wrapped up in "finding love" or "pleasing others" that they forget to figure out what they want. Saying I want someone nice or I want someone who looks a certain way isn’t enough. By not making it clear for yourself what exactly you want, you are lowering your standards and as a result damaging your self-esteem. Some people are afraid to acknowledge what they want because they are afraid to be alone. The secret is that the higher your standards are, the more attractive you become and the more options you will have. You don't need to just pick whoever will have you. As a starting point, ask yourself these questions. How would you like them to act? What would you like them to do? How should they treat you? What type of relationship are you looking for? Take a moment and figure it out.

2. Decide what you will give in return. Know your boundaries and do not cross them. Yes, there are subjects in relationships that require you to adjust and accept your partner’s ideas but these should not be your boundaries and identity. There is no such thing as getting something for nothing. Dating and relationships are no exception. So, what are you planning to bring to the exchange? Be honest - don't undersell or oversell yourself. Think about all of the strengths, benefits, and positive qualities you have to share with a partner. Have a clear idea about what you are going to give back to them.

3. Know the dating market, what "they" want. Learn the psychology behind men/women and take into consideration what your potential partners might want. For example, if you want smart women, then talk to a few in your area and find out what they like. If you're looking for creative men, then check out what they are into. Get to know the dating market you're interested in and what they are looking for.

Overall to have a successful relationship you need to understand that both opinions matter, what you want and what they want. Figure out what they want and start attracting them into your life rather than chasing them.

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