CAN WE TALK ABOUT GREEN FLAGS?

We tend to look for red flags in a potential partner. Especially if we have been hurt before. We want to ensure that we “will play it safe” this time. This is true, I do agree that if we have been hurt before we probably want to learn from that and make sure that for the future we will pick a partner who is a good fit for us.

But, our thoughts have more effect on our life than we know. This means that negativity will surround my life if I am constantly viewing the glass of life as half empty. My thoughts have the power to attract things into my life, bad or good.

That said, let's talk about green flags to look for in a partner rather than red flags.

These 8 green flags can indicate you are with the right person:

1. Trust each other - trusting your partner means you can rely on them, and you feel safe being with them, emotionally, physically, and mentally. You are giving trust no matter where they are or with who they are spending their time when they are not around you. When you are doing what you said you will and saying what you will do, you are building trust between you.

2. Emotional intimacy - emotional intimacy is the closeness you are sharing. You are feeling free and secure to express your fears, apprehensions, your scars, “defects”, and weaknesses, without feeling shame or humiliated. You feel love and appreciated, you are receiving validation for your feelings from your partner. You have the ability to share your true self, your core, and the deepest hidden feelings with them. You both feel equal and accept each other, with their strengths and weaknesses.

3. Physicality - you feel close and open enough with your partner, and that brings pleasure and joy to your relationship. When you are sharing emotional intimacy, you feel free to express your desire and sexual fantasies with each other.

4. Open and clear communication - open and clear communication is a sign of a healthy relationship. You both are able to express your needs, and feelings in an understanding and inclusive form, without fear of being judged or blamed. You are able to listen and understand each other in an unambiguous way. As a result, you can connect to each other and solve any obstacle. That way you keep an open communication channel between you that is free of fear and blame.

5. Respect and appreciate each other - you appreciate each other honesty and dignity. You truly see each other’s value in the relationship. You are setting boundaries with each other, and the boundaries are being respected by your partner. A partner who respects your physical and emotional boundaries is a sign of a healthy partner.

6. Not being dependent on each other - each one of you has your own individual identity. It makes it easy on you to identify your needs without linking them to your partner. You accept each other for the person they are now, you are not trying to change or fix each other.

7. Support and encourage each other - being in a serious, strong relationship can bring to your life a sense of security, peace, and quiet. Your needs are being heard and the things that are important to you are being respected. When something bad happens you are there for each other for support and understanding. You are encouraging each other to be at your A-game and to keep growing and developing each day.

8. Have joy - you are having fun being together, and you are enjoying each other's company. That's not to say it is always fun and you are not having problems, but overall your mutual time together is filled with happiness and joy. You are spending quality time together and doing things that are fulfilling for both of you, as well as having quality time separately.