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That feeling, that the sky is falling, the anxiety of losing an important person from our life, the grief. Letting go of your relationship, whether you wanted the breakup or not is a difficult thing to do. You need to let go of the person you once loved or still love. You need to let go of the dreams you had with that person, of the life you thought you would have shared together. You might even think that this awful feeling is not going away, nonsense. The one important thing to understand is that your feelings do not need to change in order for you to be okay.

This is my own personal journey of going through a divorce. Those are the steps that are helping me. Consider them as a suggestion, and try and explore what is helpful for you so you can take back control over your life.

  • There is nothing wrong with you.

Usually, after a breakup, our brain will start to analyze different situations that happened through the relationship. You will start wondering what is wrong with you? Where did I go wrong? If I did that one thing he wanted would it have ended a different way would we still be together? If I just stop nagging would have he shown me more affection? and how you could have changed the outcome. Remember, there is nothing wrong with you, get out of your head, break these thoughts, there is no reason to keep thinking about the past, and start moving on.

  • Feel-good hormones, dopamine, and oxytocin.

Breakups are so difficult and painful for a good reason, your body is withdrawing. You see, the brain releases dopamine and oxytocin hormones when experiencing intimacy, touch, and love. Suddenly your main source of feel-good hormones is gone. This might lead to behavior that will not help you like checking your ex-social media, walking by your ex’s apartment as well as checking your phone constantly in the hope that your ex might send a message. You are trying to do what you can in order to “feel good” again, even if it is just for a brief moment. So what should you do? Like any other withdrawal, you want to give your body those hormones but from a healthy source. Working out for as little as 30 minutes a day can give your body the feel-good hormones that it needs. Find which kind of workout works for you and stick to it, make a goal of how many days during the week you can commit, and follow that.